Writing: The goodbye That was Never Planned

Note: This is totally fiction and what is in itallics is part of the flashback. I am a little rusty with short stories so bare with me on the verb tenses. I played a little with some sensory details. Please read and enjoy.

The cold water kisses my lips and cools off my hot tearful face. I grab yet another tissue and wipe what is rest of my tears away. The mirror on the refrigerator shows a reflection that I can't notice at first. The girl in the reflection shows a version of me I have never seen before. I shake my head and slam the mirror on the table. The noise of shattering glass echos in my lonely house. I leave it without cleaning up and shuffle my way to the window. Leaning against the wall, a flashback hits. I am watching a movie of my own life from a distance and my eyes once again fill with tears. I didn't know I even had any tears left.

I see the car pulling up the driveway. The usual blasting of alternative rock is nonexistent and he drives up unusually slow. I see myself waiting at the door. He waits in the car for an awkward amount of time then struts to the door. His facial expression is a frown as he walks to the front door but he fakes a smile when he notices me. I am too happy to see him to read into any of these clues. I throw my arms around him and kiss his lips. He shows hesitation in both and that's when I finally notice. I look into his eyes, the same eyes that I get lost in. I see his frown, the frown from the same lips that said I will love you always and forever. When he says nothing, the reason why he has come to see me has become very clear. My arms slip from him lifelessly and I turn away.

I still hear his words banging in my head.

"Baby, I..." His voice is cracked. He always says baby when something is wrong. "maybe you better sit down."

"Ok..." My voice trails and my face starts to feel hot. As hot as it was the night we had our first kiss. I feel like I am taking the forever walk of shame as I make my way to the couch. Thoughts run through my head as he sits right next to me and takes my hand.

"I love you, but I.." he stops himself then he sighs, "I can't do this anymore."

I look at him and there was a silence then he says the ever popular, "Its not you, it's me."

"It hurts me ask much as it hurts me to do this, but I would rather be truthful then be in a relationship that is a lie."

My face turns redder and my eyes narrow. Jerking my hand away from his, I stand. He stands too.

My eyes once again look into his. He looks down.

"You said you will love me always and forever." My eyes close as my voice gains power. "You said that would never leave me. You said that you have never felt this way before. I guess this relationship has been a joke to you hasn't it?"

"No never," he grabs my arm, "I still love you."

"Don't touch me!" My voice is stern and to the point.

He lets go without a fight.

"Your a one of a kind girl, but your just not the girl for me. I'm sorry."

The tears fall from my eyes and I feel weak at the knees. All the strength I gained is now lost and I stand still. I watch him leave without anymore words. Without anymore movement. He opens the door slowly and looks back at me.

"I will never forget all the great memories we shared."

I manage to look at him one last time and his face looks sympathetic. He turns away and walks out the door. I hear the jingle of the car keys and the slam of the car door. I collapse to the floor just inches from the couch. The tears really start to flow as the car starts. I bring up my knees and bury my head in them. I hear the car drive away.

I now find myself in the same position on the ground. I rock back and forth. His emotions, his words didn't make very much sense, but one thing was clear. The guy that I was building a lifetime with, the guy that I opened myself too, and the guy that said always and forever is gone. It wasn't long enough and the goodbye i never saw coming did. Never plan for forever, just plan to be hurt for just as long.

Writing: Do You See it?

Look at her
Just for that
that moment in time
do you see it?

At first it's not
Not shallowly visible
She hides it
Puts up defenses

Her eyes talk
They show her weakness
A deep longing
To see something better

They are tired
Just like her
Tired of wanting
Wanting extraordinary

When no one is looking
Her smile speaks
Speaks of dreams
Dreams of him

So look closer
Her eyes tell you
Her smile speaks
She is thinking of him